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Climate Change Might Lead to More Murders

posted by janrinok on Saturday March 01 2014, @11:00PM   Printer-friendly
from the stabbed-in-the-back dept.

nobbis writes:

"Crime rates could be affected by climate change, according to economist Matthew Ranson quoted in a New Scientist article. Criminologists note that warm days see more offences, and Ranson used FBI crime data along with weather records to estimate the potential impact of increased temperatures on crime figures. His model estimates a rise in crime rates of between 0.5 and 3.1 percent if the world warms by 2.8 degrees by 2100. This would equate to an extra 22,000 murders in the US by that time.

Other researches think offending rates will fall when it is simply to hot to go out."

 
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  • (Score: 3, Interesting) by Ethanol-fueled on Sunday March 02 2014, @12:24AM

    by Ethanol-fueled (2792) on Sunday March 02 2014, @12:24AM (#9395) Journal

    Here's my hypothesis: Now that the public are no longer buying terrorism and pedophilia as excuses to strip them of their rights, climate change is next on the agenda. Quoth the article:

    " However, factors such as better policing may keep a lid on the problem. "

    The government will use their satellite freeze-rays to create a giant iceberg which will then be guided by the North Pacific current right into the California's Bay Area. Destruction will occur to a lot of expensive waterfront property and jackbooted gun-grabbing thugs will run from door to door confiscating firearms. The public will be told it was all Russia's fault, as the Russians have a lot of snow and other cold things. As for other matters cold, Putin will ejaculate appropriately all over now-president-Hillary Clinton's blue dress because they were both in on it all along.

    The military industrial complex will become even richer selling toys to fight Russia and oppress the American people, and greedy redevelopment interests will "rebuild" the bay area into one large hotel for wealthy prostitute-seeking Chinese and Arab businessmen.

    You heard it here first.

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  • (Score: 3, Interesting) by SMI on Sunday March 02 2014, @02:31AM

    by SMI (333) on Sunday March 02 2014, @02:31AM (#9423)

    Ethanol-fueled, I agree completely.

    "As for other matters cold, Putin will ejaculate appropriately all over now-president-Hillary Clinton's blue dress because they were both in on it all along."

    This line especially is so good I don't know whether to laugh or cry, stand up and applaud or look nervously over my shoulder. Most people have no idea that Mrs. Clinton has already been selected for the presidency in 2016, though she certainly does.

    Keep it coming!